Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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