I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
