masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
