how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
