it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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