he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
