Duck Duck Cougar?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He? As in you personified your dick?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
