we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
