Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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