arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Found your dick twin last night
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
