i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
