what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
