Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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