Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
