It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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