There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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