that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
