i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just googled if crying burns calories
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
