I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
