This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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