My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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