why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
