She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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