This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
