I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
did i just pee glitter
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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