I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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