she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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