someone get that fucking seahorse.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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