When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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