So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize