oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize