I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
