We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
