I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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