new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
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Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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