just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
