Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
