worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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