a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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