I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
