Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
do nipples grow back?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize