my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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