She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
