If i come over, it means nothing
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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