all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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