No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
