i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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