Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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