i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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