Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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