i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
