We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
