Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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