Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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