Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
