you traded sex for a burrito?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
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Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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