Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if only i could text you this smell
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
