My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
