you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
