Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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