I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
