she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
