Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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