It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
