finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
