That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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