Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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