hotel room ftw
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
