yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
