What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
