I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
